Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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