Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
