nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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