Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
