i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
