sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
