Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
