last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
