if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
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