Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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