what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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