He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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