I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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