the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
