i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
