there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
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Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
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Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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