Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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