She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
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He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
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It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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