So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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