Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
