She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I yelled at your uterus for you.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
