i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
did you just send me my own nude
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
