And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
