You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
