i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
