Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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