forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
