Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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