people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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