One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
