she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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