Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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