you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
