I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Sorry about my life...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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