who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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