the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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