There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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