we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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