Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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