If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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