we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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