You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
40s are totally the cure
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
