Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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