I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
