we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
