I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
