He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
please don't ironically join a cult
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