"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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