Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
