margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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