wat bout pragnant strippers??
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
