Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
MIDGETS
????
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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