I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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