Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
