Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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