i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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