Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
