I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
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Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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