I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
