Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
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Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
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Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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