Capitaan dildo arrescate!
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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