There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
