Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
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It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
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I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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