I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
