Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
