false alarm. still invincible.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
