The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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